It’s an old song...that she was listening at this hour of another January morning...one of kishore's best and the one which many loved to dedicate her..."pal
pal dil ke pas" and she smiled as she watched her daughter getting married!
Few years back....and I say few as by the hands of history such a time span is definitely 'few'...
Hot jalebi’s were her favorite...her birthday and the whole house used to buzz with the fragrance of hot 'garam' jalebi’s and ‘Chingdi (lobster) fry’. Both being the lip smacking delicacy of a typical bangali 'badi' (Bengali home), as its with every bangla family apart from having family doctors and lawyers each of them are associated with a family 'mishti'r dokan' (sweet shop) and a family 'macher bajar' (a fish market)....same like her family was associated with ghosh babu's mishti house....so a family function(not to forget cricket matches, hockey matches, 'phootbal'(football) matches...and many to be considered just as equal as functions) and no sweets from ghosh babu....impossible!
As usual, soon as she woke up, someone from the family ran to stuff her with sweets and assurances that her favorite delicacy is on the list for today’s lunch. College on birthdays was a dream come true...as 'the significant' gifts and flowers awaited...but that day he didn't turn up...dodging all the 'Love' and affection from her family, she kept waiting and waiting at the station for him to return from his job. He didn't!
Upset she returned home before sun set...it’s the first time in two years that he dint turn up. Instead as she landed back home...almost whole of her clan kept waiting for her grand arrival, but not to greet her or gift her...but to question a "letter".
Her father never turned red unless the guilt was unforgivable...this time he sat motionless with a blind look holding a piece of envelop....on entering she was sure something was wrong....for no one spoke a word!
A quite mum (the best weapon a bangali babu has when his daughter is being wronged for a guy) and then the head of the family spoke in a morbid tone...."eta ke? (Who is he?)" Showing the envelope which she hoped had the tragic letter from her boyfriend.
Her best friend ditched her....past two years all his letters were addressed to her friend shyama's home and were then hand delivered to her secretly...but this fine morning, game was done...shyama's brother caught hold of the letter and instead of her. It was handed over to her father.
Flustered "sen babu" asked again...."eta ke bol...nahole thik hobena (Either tell who he is or face the consequences)" A simple girl, whose entire world revolved around the dream to have her own little house with a small garden flashed a fearful look and spoke "amar bondhu (my friend)"....who is such a friend to write such unreadable letters....screamed sen babu. She ran upstairs...to save herself the embarrassment she had to face in front of her whole clan...evening crossed with no one to knock...crying over her pillow she remembers the fragrance of hot jalebi’s which her house basked with that very morning. She felt like a traitor cheating her family...a stranger on a known domain...that simple love of hers was making her pay its price a lot more than she deserved...for she knew....in her days...a staunch bangali badi'r me (a bengali family girl) never married with her choice....
That night changed her for the rest of her life....she sat beside a window watching the dust settle down...watching the city which never sleeps to slow its pace and as in her town rikshaw wala's were first to honker early morning...she realized with the sound of it that this day is not going to be the same...that she has to answer all unanswered questions....that like a slow wavering mist which settles down on the earth beneath, even she would have to settle down on her beliefs.
Another hour and the door knocked....it was Tubul'da (in east every man other than one’s suitor and defined relations is addressed with a 'da' which means brother) ....the door was not locked...so he came inside...Sat in front of her and asked for the first time...(and she knew for the last as well)...
"Will u forget him?"
She kept looking at the morning sun for a long time...its reflections on the backyard 'pukur (a pond attached with the home...very usual in West Bengal)'...and with a shallow tone she replied
"No"
He kept staring at a shy twenty year old girl ...who used to hide behind curtains just the other day...who’s appearance at functions were as few as nothing for she was scared to meet new people and talk...who’s favorite pass time was to fish at the backyard pond....who in a fist of time overnight grew to be a fearless strong woman.
As he started to walk out...there was a meek sound strong enough to be heard by the air around her... Voicing
"Tubul'da...I wont marry anyone else"
He turned back ...watching her small face glowing bright as the sun shone bright orange....the first rays painting her face red...fragile yet confident
Days passed...Sen babu.... still avoiding social gatherings....Sen baudi(her mother) ... pursuing her hobby as usual, crying and feeding rest of the family members...after a month or so...a suitor was to be shown to her...for she was supposed to marry her fathers choice...As everybody sat waiting for her at the drawing room...she locked her self upstairs, denying to comedown....that was the end of all!
Her father agreed of her choice but only on a condition that he won’t be present at her marriage. Three months later she was married....to the man she wanted to...both scared and unprepared to get into a serious business ... that too so soon. As the wedding ceremony ended...he looked into her eyes and said..."don’t cry if we are short of money"
She laughed away...Knowing that the entire she had, won’t stand by her anymore....knowing that the man she trusted her life earns just 600 rupees per month....knowing that she might never be the same girl...to whom this world was as small as her backyard 'pukur'.
She left her birth land for a place which was hundreds of miles far off...unknown and unfamiliar...as she stood at the station reading “City of lakes”...unable to understand a single word...for she knew only Bengali and a little bit of English...she clenched his hand...pointing him to a door...so that he could read that for her...she didn't know how to read 'toilet' in Hindi.....he laughed the same way as she did while they got married...."Don’t worry...you'll learn all of it"
There small world was a paradise to her, she made her own home...her own friends...her own life, but only till her child was born. She was 21...as she stepped into her empty house holding her new born daughter...for no one from her family arrived till then...It hit her the second time that life would no more be simple....she knew there would be hardships as by then money was not so easy.
It was another of an evening he came back from his office and worded the much awaited statement
"You might have to find a job...or else we will have to compromise on her schooling" looking straight at his 3 year old daughter like a dead man feeling guilty.
Without knowing anything of a language being spoken where she stayed (funnily which was Hindi) she enrolled to finish her degree at the university...that night was stormy as both sat beside their beds...deciding that now the time has come that they both have to fight with everything that they have in them to be their best...so that they can give their children everything that they did not have.
Every morning with the child running for her nursery, one left for his job the other to the university...although he was qualified enough for that time, salary was not proportional to ones qualification it was proportional to ones promotion. He worked as much as one possibly can and in as many shifts one can....having lunch or dinner together was something that they both did not remember anymore.
But who was a bigger fighter. One who slogged like an animal or the other who faced criticism for her incapability to understand something as simple as the language being spoken...for fighting odds and translating her Bangla into English to pass exams and as well to tend for a three year old child...for them...having each other was more than a family and a moral support. They happened to be each others life support...as the existence of one was not possible without the other.
Years passed. After 3 years of finishing her graduation and post graduation she found a job at a local school and he, still climbing the ladder one by one. With no Godfather, to achieve his promotion all he had was to show his work...and those above him knew it very well. It was a long run for both of them her child’s first day at school...her first prize....her first letter she could write, everything went into a miss...for all that they could see is their daughter studying in one of the best schools of the city...that was their dream...and they made it true...their first success!
Since then there have been many....after seven years of dog work...he came to achieve one of the higher positions in his organization....she felt proud of him...That night she was the happiest ever...for she was expecting her second child and also for the day has come where they could breath peace for all that they have achieved yet...as they sat watching their daughter sleep.. She cried, past eight years of her marriage she cried for the first time...that drop of tear was her own celebration...from being a conventional Bengali girl...she came out to be a winner on her own terms...she watched that night dawning into a hue of pink...as the first rays painted her face red. Her essence of past flashed her memory...looks which dejected her for she choose her own suitor...that man who had been everything to her since childhood, leaving her at the edge...that train to the city of lakes and her first steps at the university....her every step, that would have been next to nothing for anyone of us...was as big as miles to walk...for she was not one of us...She belonged to a world where a woman’s destination was marked, where she wasn't allowed to speak unless questioned…as that was how a traditional, conservative family used to be…still she loved...she fought and she won...no matter how small her dreams might seem to us...she made it true. She fought selflessly for her family, her children. For a better tomorrow...forgetting her share of happiness.....her face was glowing as the bright sun was shining ...the same way as it did which changed her years back. After a while...he looked at her and said...
"I’m proud of us"
Her life was lived complete in a single moment!
That very night I was born...
pal dil ke pas" and she smiled as she watched her daughter getting married!
Few years back....and I say few as by the hands of history such a time span is definitely 'few'...
Hot jalebi’s were her favorite...her birthday and the whole house used to buzz with the fragrance of hot 'garam' jalebi’s and ‘Chingdi (lobster) fry’. Both being the lip smacking delicacy of a typical bangali 'badi' (Bengali home), as its with every bangla family apart from having family doctors and lawyers each of them are associated with a family 'mishti'r dokan' (sweet shop) and a family 'macher bajar' (a fish market)....same like her family was associated with ghosh babu's mishti house....so a family function(not to forget cricket matches, hockey matches, 'phootbal'(football) matches...and many to be considered just as equal as functions) and no sweets from ghosh babu....impossible!
As usual, soon as she woke up, someone from the family ran to stuff her with sweets and assurances that her favorite delicacy is on the list for today’s lunch. College on birthdays was a dream come true...as 'the significant' gifts and flowers awaited...but that day he didn't turn up...dodging all the 'Love' and affection from her family, she kept waiting and waiting at the station for him to return from his job. He didn't!
Upset she returned home before sun set...it’s the first time in two years that he dint turn up. Instead as she landed back home...almost whole of her clan kept waiting for her grand arrival, but not to greet her or gift her...but to question a "letter".
Her father never turned red unless the guilt was unforgivable...this time he sat motionless with a blind look holding a piece of envelop....on entering she was sure something was wrong....for no one spoke a word!
A quite mum (the best weapon a bangali babu has when his daughter is being wronged for a guy) and then the head of the family spoke in a morbid tone...."eta ke? (Who is he?)" Showing the envelope which she hoped had the tragic letter from her boyfriend.
Her best friend ditched her....past two years all his letters were addressed to her friend shyama's home and were then hand delivered to her secretly...but this fine morning, game was done...shyama's brother caught hold of the letter and instead of her. It was handed over to her father.
Flustered "sen babu" asked again...."eta ke bol...nahole thik hobena (Either tell who he is or face the consequences)" A simple girl, whose entire world revolved around the dream to have her own little house with a small garden flashed a fearful look and spoke "amar bondhu (my friend)"....who is such a friend to write such unreadable letters....screamed sen babu. She ran upstairs...to save herself the embarrassment she had to face in front of her whole clan...evening crossed with no one to knock...crying over her pillow she remembers the fragrance of hot jalebi’s which her house basked with that very morning. She felt like a traitor cheating her family...a stranger on a known domain...that simple love of hers was making her pay its price a lot more than she deserved...for she knew....in her days...a staunch bangali badi'r me (a bengali family girl) never married with her choice....
That night changed her for the rest of her life....she sat beside a window watching the dust settle down...watching the city which never sleeps to slow its pace and as in her town rikshaw wala's were first to honker early morning...she realized with the sound of it that this day is not going to be the same...that she has to answer all unanswered questions....that like a slow wavering mist which settles down on the earth beneath, even she would have to settle down on her beliefs.
Another hour and the door knocked....it was Tubul'da (in east every man other than one’s suitor and defined relations is addressed with a 'da' which means brother) ....the door was not locked...so he came inside...Sat in front of her and asked for the first time...(and she knew for the last as well)...
"Will u forget him?"
She kept looking at the morning sun for a long time...its reflections on the backyard 'pukur (a pond attached with the home...very usual in West Bengal)'...and with a shallow tone she replied
"No"
He kept staring at a shy twenty year old girl ...who used to hide behind curtains just the other day...who’s appearance at functions were as few as nothing for she was scared to meet new people and talk...who’s favorite pass time was to fish at the backyard pond....who in a fist of time overnight grew to be a fearless strong woman.
As he started to walk out...there was a meek sound strong enough to be heard by the air around her... Voicing
"Tubul'da...I wont marry anyone else"
He turned back ...watching her small face glowing bright as the sun shone bright orange....the first rays painting her face red...fragile yet confident
Days passed...Sen babu.... still avoiding social gatherings....Sen baudi(her mother) ... pursuing her hobby as usual, crying and feeding rest of the family members...after a month or so...a suitor was to be shown to her...for she was supposed to marry her fathers choice...As everybody sat waiting for her at the drawing room...she locked her self upstairs, denying to comedown....that was the end of all!
Her father agreed of her choice but only on a condition that he won’t be present at her marriage. Three months later she was married....to the man she wanted to...both scared and unprepared to get into a serious business ... that too so soon. As the wedding ceremony ended...he looked into her eyes and said..."don’t cry if we are short of money"
She laughed away...Knowing that the entire she had, won’t stand by her anymore....knowing that the man she trusted her life earns just 600 rupees per month....knowing that she might never be the same girl...to whom this world was as small as her backyard 'pukur'.
She left her birth land for a place which was hundreds of miles far off...unknown and unfamiliar...as she stood at the station reading “City of lakes”...unable to understand a single word...for she knew only Bengali and a little bit of English...she clenched his hand...pointing him to a door...so that he could read that for her...she didn't know how to read 'toilet' in Hindi.....he laughed the same way as she did while they got married...."Don’t worry...you'll learn all of it"
There small world was a paradise to her, she made her own home...her own friends...her own life, but only till her child was born. She was 21...as she stepped into her empty house holding her new born daughter...for no one from her family arrived till then...It hit her the second time that life would no more be simple....she knew there would be hardships as by then money was not so easy.
It was another of an evening he came back from his office and worded the much awaited statement
"You might have to find a job...or else we will have to compromise on her schooling" looking straight at his 3 year old daughter like a dead man feeling guilty.
Without knowing anything of a language being spoken where she stayed (funnily which was Hindi) she enrolled to finish her degree at the university...that night was stormy as both sat beside their beds...deciding that now the time has come that they both have to fight with everything that they have in them to be their best...so that they can give their children everything that they did not have.
Every morning with the child running for her nursery, one left for his job the other to the university...although he was qualified enough for that time, salary was not proportional to ones qualification it was proportional to ones promotion. He worked as much as one possibly can and in as many shifts one can....having lunch or dinner together was something that they both did not remember anymore.
But who was a bigger fighter. One who slogged like an animal or the other who faced criticism for her incapability to understand something as simple as the language being spoken...for fighting odds and translating her Bangla into English to pass exams and as well to tend for a three year old child...for them...having each other was more than a family and a moral support. They happened to be each others life support...as the existence of one was not possible without the other.
Years passed. After 3 years of finishing her graduation and post graduation she found a job at a local school and he, still climbing the ladder one by one. With no Godfather, to achieve his promotion all he had was to show his work...and those above him knew it very well. It was a long run for both of them her child’s first day at school...her first prize....her first letter she could write, everything went into a miss...for all that they could see is their daughter studying in one of the best schools of the city...that was their dream...and they made it true...their first success!
Since then there have been many....after seven years of dog work...he came to achieve one of the higher positions in his organization....she felt proud of him...That night she was the happiest ever...for she was expecting her second child and also for the day has come where they could breath peace for all that they have achieved yet...as they sat watching their daughter sleep.. She cried, past eight years of her marriage she cried for the first time...that drop of tear was her own celebration...from being a conventional Bengali girl...she came out to be a winner on her own terms...she watched that night dawning into a hue of pink...as the first rays painted her face red. Her essence of past flashed her memory...looks which dejected her for she choose her own suitor...that man who had been everything to her since childhood, leaving her at the edge...that train to the city of lakes and her first steps at the university....her every step, that would have been next to nothing for anyone of us...was as big as miles to walk...for she was not one of us...She belonged to a world where a woman’s destination was marked, where she wasn't allowed to speak unless questioned…as that was how a traditional, conservative family used to be…still she loved...she fought and she won...no matter how small her dreams might seem to us...she made it true. She fought selflessly for her family, her children. For a better tomorrow...forgetting her share of happiness.....her face was glowing as the bright sun was shining ...the same way as it did which changed her years back. After a while...he looked at her and said...
"I’m proud of us"
Her life was lived complete in a single moment!
That very night I was born...
