My Story!

I was running ...we were playing "catch me if u can" ..... we were
supposed to catch the ten PM metro....i kept running....as i scuffled
inside the station...i cud see the train standing....i ran inside and
the door closed behind me....i was short of breath...for a while i
stood still catching up my breath...as the train started to move...i
looked behind..he was nowhere to be found....i watched out of the metro
window....he was running on the station all laughing....as he ran
towards the closed train.....i ran towards the last coupe.....as the
train sped up....it went all black...he was no where to be found.....i
was alone...lost into the blackness of the tunnel....going far away
from him....my heart skipped few beats....my breath still trying to
make me peace....the blackness all around over-roomed the light inside
the train...his face was all that i saw each time my eyes closed....i
kept on watching his face..and as i drew apart my eyes i could see the
faint light coming from the next station....the train stopped....the
doors opened again...i did not turn...for i knew he would be
there...there wud be nothing that could stop him frm being there...he
stepped in catching up with himself ... looked into my eyes and said
"Im there"....and i realised i can not live without him!



I could never imagine a self of mine reliant and dependent...i was
proud that i would never need a support of an opposite
gender....something which i felt an elixir to my living....my strength
was my soul....each time i felt that im alone....i knew that the inner
strength of mine is there to make me strong....make me as hard as a
rock so that nothing could effect me...but hardly i knew that Il
change...not for somebody but for something.....as always iv been proud
of my past..my childhood...my school days....my friends...my
family...and when i stepped out of that small shell of mine...i could
see all that...that i was protected from.."protected" a big
word....indeed, i know..i was lucky for i had never seen relations
breaking..i had never seen sadness in the eyes of a lost soul....i had
never seen empty beings banging floors to make them heard by
someone.....for i was in a make belief of goodness....a utopia of my
own..where love was not a feeling of life..but life itself.
I changed not to have my past back...but i changed to save my utopia
from all the harsh reality around.....evrynight as i walked back my
room ... i had seen women waiting at the bus stations from
brothels...no i din loath them rather i saw the sadness ...which im
sure that visitor of hers wud also see...i had seen street children
eating left overs.....we all see...but we dont wait and think.....they
gave me a sullen look...as if i was there to debar them frm there piece
of small happiness....i had seen big luxury cars sweeping by my
side...so many of them going back to empty rooms...so many would find
no one to talk too.and as i reached to unlock my door...i felt all of
that and more....when u are overstuffed of affection...you loath urself
for not receiving the minutest of it....all of us who live alone must
have missed that unshared laughter after late night dinner...that "adda"
over a cup of coffee...and that love for simply being yourself....if i
changed...i changed to save all these for me...i changed for i was
selfish of my own happiness....but no matter how you adapt to the
change..this world is far bigger to adapt it....

He left me...I could see him drifting away from all that we were...his
ambitions were bigger than mine...his dreams were no more suitable of
mine....i was that daffodil that grew older with the age and no more
bloomed in the midnight for the only moon....this time no one
spoke...no one laughed...as we met at the national park....it was night
and just like our first meet...we stood at the corner parkbench...from
where we could see the ice skating rink....for the first time i read
what was written on the park bench...."for sherly.... where ever you
are"....i felt as if i was the one to have written it for some shirly
whom iv lost somewhere.....we din speak...whn it was 9:30 we started
walking towards the metro for my ten PM metro....we din ran...we just
walked...for both of us knew that each step meant crossing a million
hurdles....as i reached the station....my train was standing....as i
stepped in, the door closed....i again ran back to the last coupe...but
he did not run towards the closed train...he did not run towards
me...and yet again the blackness over roomed me.....his face flashed
each time i closed my eyes...i kept my eyes closed not because i wanted
to keep on looking at his face...but becoz i knew that it was my last
piece of happiness...because the next time i open my eyes i would see
that sadness..that lonliness..and that unfaithful air that would leave
me naked to all the badness around.....and as i opend my eyes....i cud
see the light coming from next station...the more i loved the
darkness..more the light grew brighter.....the train stopped ...doors
opened and doors closed...but there was no one to say "Im there".